The Other Side of Sexual Harassment

 I have to say that I doubt my blogging on this topic will follow any clear path or train of thought. I write as I ponder.

So as is the case in just about all corporate working environments that employ at least 10 people, the construction industry really digs in to training when it comes to sexual harassment. I realize this makes sense as it is clearly stated in my page info paragraph that women make up less than 10% of construction employees and are thereby "minorities" in the trade. As humans should have noticed by now, those who are not classified as belonging to the dominant social group of an organization or culture face much higher instances of discrimination. I cannot strictly call it a representation of the pecking order because those who get pecked are not necessarily weaker or subservient (like chickens), but I digress. The point is that construction workers have the stereotype and history of being catcalling, vulgar, arrogant men, therefore they require more repetitive training in how to avoid sexual harassment. 

I have taken two sexual harassment classes and signed a separate agreement for my employer that I have been informed of sexual harassment information on the jobsite. I am not new to sexual harassment classes but this was the first series of courses I had to take where I was taught and tested on the information that women are more sensitive than men. Because of our increased emotional sensitivity men cannot assume they are safe to discuss many issues in the presence of a woman. Perhaps this is a fact proved in many studies - I do not know and do not much feel like delving into such research at this time. But let us take it for granted that this is absolutely true in 9 out of 10 cases. I still have an issue with the way the information is presented. Teaching a room full of men that they have to be careful talking around women continues to marginalize the female population both on and off the worksite. Teaching a room full of men that they only need to be careful speaking around WOMEN and not other men dismisses the possibility that there are topics that should never be discussed around ANYONE of ANY gender with whom you do not already have a rapport. This small lesson within the big picture was in itself, in my opinion, sexual harassment. I felt it placed me further apart from my male counterparts. Will they now always be on their guard when they see a woman? Avoid befriending her, grow silent when she joins the group, or mock her to her face for being the human barrier to their freedom of speech?

They may sound like grand, blanketed accusations for behavior that has a myriad of other explanations. I am intimately familiar with two examples; the second and the third. Within my first two months of working on a construction site I walked in on sexual stories a handful of times, and a couple of times the pair or group grew quiet, glared at me, and dispersed without another word. One of those times, the storyteller said aloud for the amusement of our coworkers, "Well now the story is ruined. I can't tell it if SHE is here." There was a similar instance where I insisted he keep telling the story, and he did so, making it clear he was cleaning it up and leaving out details because it was too crude for my sensibilities. When he finished, he said with a disappointed grunt that the story was shit because I was there. 

At these moments I would wonder to myself, "How can we give sexual harassment training without focusing so intently on the polarized characteristics our society places on male and female persons?" I think there must be a better way to teach men to treat women with respect - and I suspect that has to do with teaching men at an earlier age to treat EVERYONE with respect regardless of gender or race. But then again, the same could be said for some women. I just happen to be working in an industry that, face it, accepts a disproportional number of people who may have struggled in school or been bullies or had abusive families as kids. Of course they are disproportionally right wing, traditionalist, alcoholic, angry misogynists. I guess that can be my biased generalization for the day.

The last note I would make, that I am very uncomfortable making as I am often self-depreciating and modest, would be in relation to something a friend suggested when I explained the consistently crummy treatment I encounter from men at work. My friend's perception of my mistreatment stemmed from a belief that these men had some kind of primal, arguably natural attraction to me as a relatively young, decent looking woman. However, these men I work with are all married with children (and MEN's men, refer back to prologue) so they cannot act on their attraction nor do they possess the emotional depth to process these base feelings in a healthy manner. Instead, they exorcise the sensations (which I will not name as this consideration alone is already presumptuous) by lashing out at me. Perhaps a compliment on my work or interest in who I am would step too close to sexual harassment or admitting attraction. Are these examples of how the push against sexual harassment has created a new avenue for its manifestation? I'll stop there for tonight - this will likely be a topic to build on in the future.