Expanding on Emotion

I have already alluded to the lack of emotional depth displayed by men in construction, so it's not a long shot to connect this behavior to that of the insincere compliment. The insincere compliment is usually meant to soften the previous avalanche of insults, or as they call it in the business, "ball busting". I do not have balls, so I'm going to assume this does not apply to me and I will call an insult an insult. I suppose the insincere compliment is also a means of continuing the manly bluster with a different tone. Even construction workers get tired of the same schtick, so to add some flavor to the day a "no kidding, dumbass" will be twisted into a sarcastically awestruck "you're so smart". 

Now I understand that these things are said in jest, but I also firmly believe that every "I was just kidding" contains a hint of truth. Does that mean the sarcastic "you're so smart" is a partial compliment? Well now I've thrown a wrench into the works and have derailed the train. 

The direction I had intended to pursue was that of the incapability of overt appreciation among men at work. After two months or so of relentless sarcasm and insults I fought back. Unsurprisingly the provoked anger of a woman among men does not inspire fear, guilt, or respect (but I mean...whose anger deserves respect?). My anger was received with a mixed bag of laughter, callousness, and reciprocation. I suspect my outburst may have prompted an increase in insincere compliments and excessive or uncomfortable "thank you's" from my boss, but the frequency of the insults did not decline either from him or elsewhere. In fact, with one coworker the shouting got louder and fouler until there was a grand falling out.

So where is this collection of events and observations going? Well, for two months I responded to bullying and sarcasm alike with smiles, silence, cautious and playful jabs, but it only earned me more disdain. When I chose to respond to the bullying with bullying I got insincere compliments sprinkled into the harassment, and increased harassment from others. People love to say that a bully will only respond to or respect another bully. I don't know if that is a total lie or if it only applies to men, but this female bully was not a force to be reckoned with. She was simply a bitchy, emotional child who needed special treatment and encouragement where any other MAN would have had the backbone to remain calm.

 I cannot speak for all women, so I will just speak for myself. I do not want to be coddled but nor do I want to be treated like "one of the guys". I do not share the humor or mentality of my cohorts. All I want is to be respected for being a hard worker. How can that be expressed? Let me work; instruct me in that of which I am ignorant; inform me of my mistakes without colorful slurs and then let me fix my own mistakes. I'm sure I could concoct more obvious ways of showing respect in the workplace but those are some simple guidelines. I can give those guidelines comfortably as I have been lucky enough to have a couple of on-the-job teachers who profoundly understood respect. 

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