Mortification to Self Actualization
Definitely a misleading title, but mortify is a word to which I'm partial. When I was fifteen years younger, my present choices may have been mortifying. Now they are a manifestation of who I am; a person that may not love herself just yet, but who is comfortable with herself. My first months at this job, I felt as if I was in junior high school again. It seemed that I could not commit to a character profile as I was not sure if I wanted to fit in or stand out. I'm certain that (as is the case with anything) I wanted a balance of the two, but I wasn't sure how to achieve it without sacrificing a bit of who I am. How could I be bold and confident when I knew nothing? How could I be polite and studious when I was constantly heckled? I vacillated between extremes. Reflecting upon every past feeling and behavior I can conjure up, I realize that as a human it is normal to have a many faceted personality with occasional (and often provoked) flares in emotion. The unusual bit was