On the Front Lines of Sexual Harassment

 In my brief time with the electrician's union I have been the subject of sexual harassment many times - *as it is strictly defined. I PERSONALLY have felt intentionally and uncomfortably harassed three specific times. The first two I was able to brush off. The third broke the proverbial "camel's back".
 

We undeniably live in a patriarchal society. This is a fact that discomforts people because "patriarchal" comes with so many negatively angled, liberal/feminist connotations. Our society is patriarchal because it was founded by and it continues to be run based on gender norms established in a past era that discriminated against women and racial minorities. This. Is. A. Fact. The constitution that governs our society was written over 200 years ago by a community of men protecting white, landowning male properties and rights. We have still never had a female president. Women still hold a minority of political positions. Women are still fighting to have equal pay defended by law; we are still fighting to have free access to menstrual products (a phenomenon most biologically female people MUST endure regardless of financial or social status); we are still fighting for paid family leave (including the difficult period BEFORE the actual child birth). These are a small number of crucial issues that rule our day to day lives that men cannot fathom or respect despite decades of female contributions to the nation. This is why I feel defeated by working in a male dominated industry after being texted "you're so hot" by a FOREMAN (construction site speak for "boss"). 

Now, I'm sure what you're thinking is, "That's illegal. You could persecute him." But this is another barrier of understanding between men and women. Men don't understand the stigma of being THAT WOMAN who "outs" a man. Men don't understand the fear and anxiety and nausea that accompanies confronting this situation on a PERSONAL level, let alone a LEGAL level. Men don't understand how dehumanizing and belittling and condescending and PATRONIZING it feels to have a years worth of hard work in an industry be brushed under the rug because your physical appeal to some scumbag, married man is more outstanding than your skills and effort. Furthermore, if I were to take this "affront" to "authorities" I would be known throughout the local union for this action. Women are few, and the union is relatively small. My name would be synonymous with their sexist presumptions. 

 You may also be thinking, "That seems harmless... he probably thought he was just paying you a compliment." This assumption would also be a product of being raised in a patriarchy. Men can't understand that being given a flirtatious or sexually driven compliment can be  unwelcome, offensive, and even threatening. It sets a precedent for future interactions and standards that we don't want for ourselves and puts pressure on the woman to reciprocate the compliment. Women can't say, "Well how would YOU feel if..." because many men would LOVE it if we made such unsolicited comments. I have even thought of asking men who have daughters how they would feel if their daughters' bosses made advances on them - but to no avail. It becomes a joke that I won't dignify with a replication here. 

 Furthermore, he is married and has daughters! This is a tidbit I personally feel to be irrelevant in relation to my situation and social standing, but mentioning it reflects on the low standards our society has established for male conduct. Even with a wife, even with children at home he does not have the compassion to understand the consequences of his behavior and thereby avoid such circumstances. A married foreman with young children should not be able to get away with texting an apprentice on her personal phone when she presumes to be safe and comfortable at home.

 For the record, I went to a lower establishment with a request to leave the workplace where I am currently apprenticed (sidebar; apprentices don't have the power to just leave a job without serious repercussions - we have to go through the hierarchy to be reassigned). When the administration found out what had happened I was told I could get my tools and leave immediately. I felt vindicated, but also "dirty". I felt like a babbling tattle-tale child. When I was told the perpetrator would be spoken to about his conduct, I was mortified. All I wanted was an escape - not a confrontation. In the end, I chose to not leave the job site given the risks that come with finding a new project and establishing oneself with a new company. So many negative feelings and doubts are now tied up with my history among these journeymen and my choice to remain among them. I despise myself for succumbing to stress and pressure and I despise the system for enabling these behaviors in men.